Phrases Than Can Never Please You

I always arrive late at the office
but i make up for it by leaving early

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man
it's your stupidity

Women will never be as successful
as men because they have no wives
to advise them

Practice makes perfect....
but nobody's perfect...
so why practice??

Home is where you scratch
where it really itchy

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for??

A hospital bed is a parked tax with
the meter running

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man,
there is a woman
and behind every unsuccessful man
there are two

Life is like an hourglass

eventually
everything hits
the bottom

and all you have
to do is wait it out
until someone
comes along and
turns it around.

The wise never marry and when they
marry they become otherwise

A bank is a place where they lend
you an umbrella in fair weather and
ask for it back when it begins to rain

Your future depends on your dreams,
so go to sleep

Too many people buy things
they don't need, with money
they don't have, trying to
impress people they don't even like...

There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning

The more you learn, the more you know
the more you know the more you forget
the more you forget
the less you know so..
why learn??

Husband and wife are like a pair
of scissors
Joint together, often moving in opposite
directions yet punishing whoever comes
between them.

zzzyy